Dear Me,

Wow. Can I just say 30s look so damn good on you, girl!? I have to take a moment to tell you just how proud I am of all that you are (and all that you aren’t). 

I. Love. All. Of. You.

I love how you’ve connected to your ability to feel energy, emotions, vibrations — both yours and others. Sure, sometimes it muddies the waters. You’ve had to learn to stay in your own lane, but you’re getting it. And, oh, how it allows you to connect. To understand. There was a time you didn’t even have the patience for your own feelings, and now look at you learning to hold space for others to navigate their own journeys. What an imperative tool.

I love your anger and your ability to lean into someone else’s (not to be confused with tactical, abusive anger used to manipulate or control another — Lord knows, we both will never think that shit is cute) but you know, that soul deep, raw anger. The eruption of passion, outcries of injustice, and the rage of souls demanding to be seen + heard. Yeah, that.

I love your bullshit detector. Your inability to conform. Your disdain for superficiality. Your love of truth. The way a piece of you is always scanning for new truths. The way you don’t even care how it’s delivered; if it’s there, you crave it and need to find it. It’s made success your only option, and I cannot wait to see where that takes you.

I love the way you love people. I love the way you want others to love themselves, and the way you honor the many ways unconditional love may look, feel and sound in the human experience. I love the way your heart radiates when others experience joy, but also how you honor that their pain is just as worthy as their joy. And when in the presence of it, you don’t try to push it away. I love how you don’t need to have walked a mile in another’s shoes to see + hear them.

I love that you are you. Regardless of who is watching or listening. I love your authenticity + intentions. I love how you do not shrink yourself to be more palatable to another. I love how you become more of yourself every damn day, and have learned that what others think of you is their business, not yours. I love the way you stopped apologizing for existing in all the ways little girls are taught to do. I love that you stopped “should”ing all over yourself, and that you stopped doing shit you don’t wanna do. I love that you learned to give from overflow, not from obligation. If you don’t have it to give (time, energy, etc.), you don’t. Hello, boundaries.

I love your relationship with pain. No one ever tells you that if you don’t see and hear your pain + trauma, it will control your life by finding new ways to remind you it’s there and continue to demand attention. Everyone tries so hard to avoid it, but no one ever tells you it’s your soul calling you home. Yet, here you are — you figured it out, anyway.

I love that you learned you are not a rehabilitation center for broken men. I love that you have found the most profound love I could’ve ever wanted for you. One where you never have to betray yourself, where you are always seen, heard, safe + nurtured. And to think, she’s been staring back at you every time you looked in the mirror your whole damn life. Wow, what a beautiful day it was when you learned to take that love you so freely give others and turned it back to yourself. You literally loved yourself whole. It was nothing short of An. Act. Of. God. And it was/is revolutionary.

I love the way when you look over your shoulder to see how far you’ve come, your journey brings you to your knees. I love how your heart floods with gratitude that overflows from your head to your toes. I love the way when Spirit speaks, you listen, and that you’ve learned to trust in divine order. But also, in you.

33 was just a taste of what happens when you trust yourself, when you stand in your own power, when you align yourself to your own soul, when you choose clean pain over dirty pain, when you choose to heal your wounds. This year was tough on many levels, yet you were handed gift after gift this year. It was just a glimpse of what happens when you refuse to settle for the bullshit + programming, and instead decide to ride the elevator to more. 

The question now is: how good can you take it?????

Welp, I dunno, but we’re gonna find out. You are a fucking masterpiece, even in all your gorgeous, messy parts. Cheers to YOU and 34. Keep. On. Growing.🙏🏻

Love,

Your Soul

Soul deep thank you to:

  • Erin + Alix for giving me the tools to find my way home to myself. Eternal awe + gratitude. 💙
  • My mama for the heart beating in my chest. From you. Because of you. For you.
  • B for being the light who made turning back impossible + undesirable, and lit the path for a life-saving adventure of yummy goodness.
  • My kindred spirits who remind me I’m not alone, fuel my fire + help me remember who I am.
  • Friends + Family, whether we walked our path together for a short while, a long while, a lifetime or in between, there are times you carried me, loved me, tolerated me, nourished me + reminded me I’m worthy. Your role was/is invaluable. I will never forget.
  • People + situations who/that trigger(ed) the fuck out of me and show(ed) me the healing still left to do. If only someone would teach us how it is you that holds the magic of transformation, and if only they’d do so with as much eagerness as we are taught to walk, talk + perform.
  • Last, but certainly not least: the ability and desire to unlearn. For it is actually you that is perhaps the most magical of all.

Note: I also recognize some humans fall into into more than one category. Thankful for every single one of the layers, and the vibrancy you bring to my life.

Wishing you all a life unboxed, untamed, wild + free. 🔥